Reflections
Just thinking...
I think about writing a lot these days. I tell myself that I haven’t been writing for that long, but really, I published something on Amazon like 10 years ago, and I also have had this Substack going for years now. That’s a lot of time spent pecking away at keyboards and shutting yourself off from everyone else.
I romanticize things. I think that’s been a detriment at certain points in my life. It’s caused me to stick around in situations longer than I should have. But I think that resilience becomes a positive in certain situations, too. I am also realizing that certain things about me are just certain traits about me that are part of my identity these days.
The entirety of the existence of this newsletter alongside my website has been a strange documentation. I think one can go back and read from the beginning to this point and find a certain narrative that has taken place. I don’t think I’m as angry or as hurt as I once was. I feel stronger in my ability to convey my emotions and thoughts.
I suppose having that is more important than anything. It’s something that leaves a lasting feeling. It’s something that I can feel proud about. I sometimes get down on myself for the dumbest stuff. It’s unfortunate, because I don’t think I’m as bad a guy as I make myself out to be sometimes.
I feel like, for the first time in my life, I can comfortably identify as a writer without feeling awkward about it. I think feedback from people who have been on this journey with me has helped out immensely. I also think the time I’ve been dedicating each week, trying to squeeze in as much as I can, has been fruitful in a lot of ways. I wish I could have more things being produced, but I also think I’ve been doing my best, considering the circumstances.
I sometimes wish that people would use things like newsletters for communication rather than traditional social media, mainly because I like the leisurely nature of having something delivered to you and then being given time to ingest it. I may be biased, though, considering my own experiences.